The Art of Discussion - The Rules of Engagement

Effective communications and teambuilding require consistent effort.   In times of crisis, and issues, it’s often easier to resort to blame and backstabbing rather than dealing with the problem at hand.   That is why rules of engagement are so important, and need to be agreed upon, by all team members, BEFORE they are needed.

The Rules of Engagement 

1. All discussions must be on the specific issue at hand.  Discussions must be focused on the problem, issue, or behavior.  Sweeping generalizations, put downs, and blaming is not allowed.  It doesn’t really matter, when you are in a crisis situation, whose fault it is, you need to solve the problem/address the crisis quickly and efficiently.   Blaming derails the conversation, and delays the resolution.

2. Everyone is to participate in the conversation, even those with opposing opinions.   To make sure this is accomplished, before the next speaker begins speaking, they need to repeat, or paraphrase the statements of the prior speaker, and the prior speaker needs to agree that was the intent of the statement, before the next speaker begins to explain their point.  This accomplishes three things, first) everyone feels heard, second) it causes people to listen, rather then thinking up their next statement in their own minds, and third) it inhibits people from interrupting and cutting people off, and finishing other peoples sentences.  This leads to better communications all around.   If necessary, nominate a moderator for the conversation to ensure that this; and all rules of engagement are enforced.

3.  Meetings are to have a specific agenda, covering what is going to be discussed, what expectations, questions, and deliverables or action items are to be taken away from the meeting.     All non agenda topics are to be parked for future discussion.  (Again, this is where a moderator can be very useful.)

Meetings should be an hour or less, otherwise, participants loose focus, daydream, play Brick Breaker®, which leads us to our next point…

4. Phones, pagers, e-mail devices like Blackberries™, and non participants are not to interrupt the meeting. Period.    If you can’t be unavailable and focus on the topic at hand, is it that important, why not just skip the discussion? If it is that important, doesn’t it deserve your complete undivided attention?  (Added bonus, it may just motivate everyone to play by the rules of engagement, and make decisions more quickly, just to get through the technology withdrawal!)